Football is back and my football team already has me feeling like this vvvv below! Its going to be a long season, thank god Fantasy is back! At least on thing is the same in 2020, James still sucks!
Manager of the Week: The most coveted award in fantasy goes to Scott. This is truly gross. First off, how do we let this happen year in and year out? Scotts team pretty much crushed Klowny all week, and while his team closed the gap and made it interesting late, Scotts team ran away with it during Monday Night. Cant wait for a week of Scotts awful trade offers.
Trash of the Week: It would be so easy to give this to James, his team truly blows but sadly, the Trash award has to go to Makky nerd. Not even cracking 120 points, losing Bell and Conner to injury and having no competent RBs on the current roster to replace them…ouchtown!
Recap: Send Pete to Wuhan Vs. BEEF THIEF
Ynnal picks up right where he left off last year, as Doug consumes his first soul of 2020
Send Pete to Wuhan (editor note…wtf Doug?)
Player of the Week: The Texans showed they were complete dumbasses trading Hopkins. What were they thinking?
Trash of the Week: I blame you for Marlon Mack tearing his ACL you piece of shit!
Team Grade: A. Dougie Ball! The man who owns the leagues top spot in the dilf power rankings by spawning two kids, Doug started 2020 determined not to starve like he did in 2019. Ynnal, whose been the leagues punching bag so far, put up a respectable 147, but Dougs team came up clutch with 153, earning the Week 1 W. Now I must fend him off from stealing my soul next week…..
How about them Flyers?
BEEF THIEF
Player of the Week: He didnt put up the most points on the team, but gonna give it to Clyde Edwards-Helaire. It was always a risk but its looking like it will pay off!
Trash of the Week: Mark Ingram absolutely killed Ynnal with a meager 2.90 points.
Team Grade: A-. The win was right there for him! Evans, Desean, Higbee are all just as guilty for this loss as Ingram. The matchup was very winnable, which has got to be frustrating. Ynnal was also very intoxicated for the draft so the team he put together is impressive regardless. But still, Ynnal is starting off 2020 like he did 2019, poorly
Recap: Craig’s Goff Balls vs. y0momsB
James lol. That’s it. That’s the headline.
Craig’s Goff Balls
(0-1)
Player of the Week: Josh Jacobs, and it isn’t even close. What an animal!
Trash of the Week: I honestly can’t find much to fault Craig for. His kicker putting up 2 I guess?
Team Grade: A+++. I mean, you beat James, whats better? Nothing puts a smile on my face more like James taking L’s left and right! A few years ago he had a few good runs of making second place and losing all the time, but now, can’t even sniff playoffs! Seriously makes me so happy! Look I didn’t even talk about Craigs team here, just great job!
y0momsB
Player of the Week: SCAAAAAAAAAM NEWTON. SCA, SCA, SCAM!
Trash of the Week: Gronk LOL!!!!! Dude, this isn’t 2016 ya freak. Dude retires and has a bad back (sound familiar?) and you think he’s just gonna be the Gronk of old! Amateur hour!
Team Grade: D. This team completely shit the bed week 1, and its only fitting you have Odell on your team to represent the massive dump your team took. Ha! Ha Ha!
Recap: Dilf 1 Vs. Dilf 2.
Scotty P comes out on top in the dilf-bowl*tm
Bad Newz Kennelss
Player of the Week: Davante Adams put the team on his back. Seems like Scott’s team will be carried by one player just like CMC did last year…
Trash of the Week: Evan Engram had 2.80 lol gotta pump those numbers up.
Team Grade: A. Scotts team came out to play, but he doesn’t earn a + mark from me, so theres that! His team got off to a nice start, but you look at this roster, yuck! You better hit that Waiver Wire hard bud, I know I am!
This guy really won manager of the week..
Dilf
Player of the Week: Zeke helped close the gap, but it wasn’t enough to get the win. Still he’s one of the best backs in the league, so damn good.
Trash of the Week: I don’t want to pin this on a rookie like Gibson, especially when a trash RB in Peyton Barber steals tds from him. I don’t know, the WR core this week was pretty underwhelming.
Team Grade: C. It was a pretty disappointing for the leagues original dilf. However, Matts bench shows great potential, and a healthy Golladay completely changes this team. It was a bad loss but the outlook for Dilf is still very positive.
Recap: Incognito vs. PAPA Makk
Pickles acts like he doesn’t know anything about fantasy, what a liar. Don’t fall for it!
Incognito
Player of the Week: Russell Wilson is a bad man, nice in real life, but bad on the field.
Trash of the Week: The Joe Mixon ride begins lol
Team Grade: B. It was an easy win for Pickles this week, but idk his team just screams AVERAGE to me. Like Scott, carried by one or two guys. From Godwin down no score jumped out. Just mediocrity!
PAPA Makk
Player of the Week: Lamar is Lamar, but man Dallas Goedert paid off for Makk
Trash of the Week: In a week Makk lost both Bell and Conner to injury, Tevin Coleman did the complete opposite of step up and put up 3 points.
Team Grade: D. Off, brutal start for Makk, especially with the injuries mentioned to Bell and Conner. TeVin Coleman, Ronald Jones and Breida didnt do anything to make Mark feel better. Like Scott, Makky gotta hit the waiver wire HARD to turn this ship around. Gotta get that smell of garbage off him and pass in to someone else for week 2!
Recap: Anthony’s Team vs. The Jew (LOL!)
Seriously, Porto, change your team name!
Generic Anthony Team
Player of the Week: Calvin Ridley is such a stud
Trash of the Week: Chris Thompson was such a perplexing start lol wtf?!
Team Grade: A. Portos team got off to a good start even though losing Michael Thomas to injury is awful news to get. Portos team looks like it can survive the loss for a few weeks though, not bad for doing half the draft while driving on your phone!
The Jew (LOL!)
Player of the Week: Aaron Rodgers showed why the Packers drafting a QB in the first round was absolutely moronic.
Trash of the Week: I’m not calling him trash ever, but Saquon getting 12 is just not good enough. The Giants offense is a disaster.
Team Grade: D. Besides Rodgers, just ew. Everything about this team was average this week. No sexy point totals. Lets see how much of his waiver wire money the Jew is willing to part with. Should be interesting…
Recap: Mrs. Sab vs. Urf
For the third year in a row, I take down the Mighty Oak like I do James mother
Urf
Player of the Week: Julio Jones showed why he’s the anti Odell and actually one of the best WR in the game. Drama free
Trash of the Week: Tyler Boyd did the exact opposite that of Julio because he is a Bengal
Team Grade: B. Ciggys team put up a nice 138 points, but sadly I put up more LOL. You’re muff!
Mrs. Sab (haha)
Player of the Week: Matt Ryan. Why? Because he put up more than Mahomet did for Ciggy and I got him 5 rounds later
Trash of the Week: Tyrod Taylor. No I do not own him, but I feel so guilty putting Keenan Allen here. Its not his fault he has 7 points. Taylor fucking sucks!
Team Grade: A. Despite Diontae Johnson fumbling at the start of the Giants game and actually losing me two points to FALL BEHIND Ciggy to start the game, luckily I averted disaster and won. Dropping Nyheim Hines though when I drafted him, that fucking blows. FML.
PeteyGSports 